Speaking of activities, don't lose sight of yourself when you merge your life with someone else. In this case, the former may feel "reassured by conversations about how they will handle new conflicts," and the latter may need "regular activities that each person is going to engage in individually.” Continue being individuals “Often in relationships, one person fears abandonment while the other fears suffocation," Yeghnazar Peck says. “Expressing your exhilaration and your fears together is going to create some safety between you two and lessen the pressure to have this be a singular experience of joy and bliss.”īe upfront and honest about your fears, so you can put a plan in place to overcome them - together. Couples that sustain long-term relationships often hold space for the messiness of life and communicate openly about all the wonderful and terrifying parts,” Yeghnazar Peck tells. "Life is full of dialectics, with two things being true at once. That simple tweak can make a world of a difference when things don’t go perfectly (psst, they probably won't). "The couples who experience the most success are those who stay flexible, set and maintain healthy boundaries, and foster open communication."Ī tip: Rather than thinking that everything has to be perfect at all times, shift your attitude by focusing on the joys of building a home together. “There is simply no way of knowing how you will both adjust to this new living situation and, no matter how much you have in common, living together requires a great deal of compromise," Nina Westbrook, LMFT, adds. No matter how ready you feel, you and your partner will still experience a few hiccups in your new digs. “Allowing space for these difficult feelings rather than shoving them down, ignoring them, or trying to change them will help you metabolize them and get to a clearer understanding of the root of your concern.” Having a more realistic expectation for what may come helps us be kind to ourselves when we are feeling less than elated,” Marelys Padilla, LCSW, PMH-C, tells. “Understanding that life transitions, even exciting ones, can bring on complex feelings is half the battle. Manage your expectationsĪ shift in perspective can do wonders. Our advice (and, well, theirs): Work your way down this checklist before you step foot in your new home sweet home. To give you a framework to approach the "merging of the keys," we turned to relationship experts and psychologists for their top tips on moving in together. Thus, it's important to honor the negative emotions just as much as the positive ones, as well as practice compassion for yourself and your partner during this transition. “That doesn’t mean it isn’t the right relationship or the right time, it just means you are human and having a normal response to a big life transition,” she says. It is valid to feel both excited and anxious,” Pauline Yeghnazar Peck, MA, MMFT, PhD, tells .Īs Joyce Marter, LCPC, author of " The Financial Mindset Fix: A Mental Fitness Program for an Abundant Life," puts it, when you move in with your significant other, it’s completely normal to have some conflicting feelings of fear (“Are we going to get sick of each other?”) and loss (“Am I going to have enough time for myself?”). “While moving in together is a wonderfully exciting step in any couple’s love story, big changes can often get registered and experienced in the body as stressful, anxiety-provoking and possibly threatening. Even though it’s an exciting time, it can still be a difficult adjustment, often bringing a lot of tough issues to the surface. Moving in with your significant other is a happy milestone in a relationship, but it can also be a major source of stress.
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